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Band 4.5

In some area of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of door after particular time at night unless they accompanied by an adult.

#area #curfew #teenagers #door #time #night #adult
In some parts of the United States, young adults could not go out during night time
however
 they would be able to be outside if there was an
adult
 to take
care
 of them. I agree with
this
 opinion on the reason of security for kids. Nowadays, the crime rate is increasing from the past so it might be safer if there is a parent or guardian to take
care
 of the children.
Firstly
, there are numerous people who we do not know that are dangerous for teenagers or not during nighttime as there are not a lot of people outside.
Furthermore
, after the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
sunset there is not a lot of light outside neither which might make the young adults feel insecure.
On the other hand
, an
adult
 who takes
care
 of them has to be the one whom they trust. An
adult
 does not mean a good or bad person. The
adult
 might just mean a person who is 18 to 21 years old.
I
Correct pronoun usage
It
show examples
 does not mean that they could be able to take
care
 of the young
adult
 at all. In conclusion, the United States might have some laws that do not make sense to some people
however
 I strongly agree with
this
 opinion. It might be better to over-secure than let it happen. More or less teenagers might be able to take
care
 of themselves but it might be better to have 4 or more
instead
 of 2 eyes to look around.
Submitted by nattafirm1 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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