In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

In some Western countries, young people

such

students

who graduated from high

school

are encouraged to take a gap year to travel or

work

before they go to

university

to study. Why it happens? Let's start off with the advantages and the disadvantages of both views.

To begin

with the advantage,

students

are encouraged to

work

or travel, It is a good time for them to take a break after a long journey of study from kindergarten to high

school

. In

this

way,

students

will have more opportunities to have new experiences in their lives. From that, they will know more about life, what they will be known or what are their hobbies and what they will be in charge of their life

while

they are travelling.

Moreover

, By the

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

way young people are going to

work

, They will not only have experiences from their jobs but

also

have chances to practice the knowledge that they have earned from the

school

system. Everything always has a

constract

Correct your spelling

contract

view, By taking a gap year, they could waste their time to continue studying which will cause them to not have enough mood to back to the academy.

Moreover

, there are some people who enjoy making money from their

work

, It has led them to forget to back their major in

school

Unfortunately

Add a comma

,Unfortunately

show examples

situations, If they were unsuccessful in their jobs,

students

would struggle with their mental and social lives which

also

cause them to forget to jump into

university

again.

For instance

This

problem happens in most of the states in America when some adults

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

unemployed because when they

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

young, they

did

Wrong verb form

show examples

not back to

university

and

did

Wrong verb form

show examples

not have

Change the article

show examples

academic diploma.

Finally

, Again, taking a gap year for

students

who finished high

school

is a good idea to see their hobbies but we need to encourage and remind them to get back from the

university

to continue to study. It will make less risk for them for their future.

Submitted by phanminhman07 on Thu Aug 24 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Increasing the petrol price is the best way to reducing traffic and pollution problems. agree and disagree.
Nowadays, traffic and pollution are common issues that people face. One of the solutions to cope with this issue is to increase the petrol price by the government. This will be the best strategy to restrict the use of petrol and could decrease traffic and pollution. I, personally, agree with the strategy for some reasons.
5.5
band
In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?
Nowadays, children spend more time with their friends than with their families. This change has occurred because children do not want to feel left out amongst their peers and parents should not force children to stay home because they will resent their parents for it.
7
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Wealthy countries tend to grant money to less-developed countries in order to solve poverty, however, the outcome is unsatisfactory. Thereby, this prompt suggests that other kinds of help should be given to address this issue. I personally agree with the statements and this essay will elucidate more arguments to back this prompt.
4.5
band
Some people believe that spending money and living for today makes more sense than saving for the future. Do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today’s era, it is an individual preference for living the life at fullest by spending a lot on lifestyle, travelling and other things which makes the present moment happier for people instead of saving the money for better life in the future. I would partially agree to spend lot of money for living the good life today but also consideration individual financial situation or any requirement may arise in the future such as a medical emergency, unemployment and many other reasons which may create the difficult situation to survive it in the future.
7
band
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there are several diseases occurred due to high-sugar food and beverages sold all over the world. Therefore, some individuals suggest increasing the price of such products in order to make people switch their preference to less sugar versions. Regarding that opinion, I firmly believe that it is going to be an effective way to tackle health problems if the governments choose to make sugary products more expensive.

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Increasing the petrol price is the best way to reducing traffic and pollution problems. agree and disagree.

In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that spending money and living for today makes more sense than saving for the future. Do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?