the chart below shows the total number of minutes in billion of telephone calls in the UK divided into three categories.

the chart below shows the total number of minutes in billion of telephone calls in the UK divided into three categories.
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The chart displays the total number of minutes in a billion
of
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apply
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telephone calls in the UK. There are three types of calls.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the Local-fixed
line
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, in 1995 there were more than 70, in 1996 there were approximately 80, in 1997 there were around 85, in 1998 and 1999 there were 90, in 2000 there were more than 80, in 2001 there were less than 80, in 2002 there were more than 70.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in National and international-fixed
line
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, in 1995 there was less than 40, in 1996 there was more than 40, in 1997 there was
nearby
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nearly
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45, in 1998 and 1999 there was less than 50, in 1999 there was precisely 50, in between 2000 and 2002 there was higher from 1999 by 50.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, in mobiles (all calls), in 1995 it was
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
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3, in 1996 it was 5, in 1997 it was less than 10, in 1998 it was closely 10, in 1999 it was more than 10, in 2000 it was more than 20, in 2001 it was precisely 60, in 2002 more than 60. In summary, in the local-fixed
line
Use synonyms
from 1995 to 2002 was increased and decreased. In National and international-fixed
line
Use synonyms
from 1995 to 2002 has increased gradually. And in Mobiles from 1995 to 2002 was increasing rapidly. The above information describes chart data.
Submitted by ryujaekwang0928 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words line with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Telecommunications
  • Long-distance calls
  • Local calls
  • International calls
  • Duration
  • Fluctuation
  • Incline/Decline
  • Significant
  • Trend
  • Statistical data
  • Billion
  • Minutes
  • Graph/chart interpretation
  • Incremental growth
  • Stabilize
  • Peak
  • Dip
  • Plummet
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