One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development

People are living longer and have higher life expectancy

as a result

of better medical care. I think

this

development has both advantages and disadvantages.

This

essay will focus on the good and bad of improved medical care.

Above all

, advancements in medicinal treatment

allows

Change the verb form

allow

show examples

doctors to apply the most effective methods of treatment, or treat diseases thought to be uncurable before. Medical

watch

Fix the agreement mistake

watches

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may take half as usual with proper technology,

as well as

new medicinal breakthroughs could treat conditions

such

as Alzheimer's or rabies.

For example

, a new breakthrough in cancer research

occured

Correct your spelling

occurred

in the US, a vaccine

that is

capable of eliminating a vast majority of cancer cells, which might become a new effective cancer treatment.

Although

the vaccine is still in

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

testing phase, it could redefine the whole pharmaceutical world as we know it today.

On the other hand

, with each advancement, nursing becomes increasingly expensive.

Cutting edge

Add a hyphen

Cutting-edge

show examples

technology requires money to be spent and paid for, which is taken from the patients and the government.

For instance

while

the US might have

cutting edge

Add a hyphen

cutting-edge

show examples

technology when it comes to pharmaceutics, the prices are outrageous. A simple trip on an ambulance could cost individuals tens of thousands of dollars without health insurance,

meanwhile

Capitalize word

Meanwhile

show examples

developing countries

such

as India, Bangladesh or South Africa might not have the best methods of healing, but they are considerably more affordable. In conclusion, without a doubt, improved medicinal care and higher life expectancy

Verb problem

apply

show examples

a positive

factor

Fix the agreement mistake

factors

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

all countries, but it does not matter if a person can not afford it.

Submitted by acaitaz on Thu Aug 24 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
health care systems
pension funds
extended family relationships
quality of life
aging population
economic growth
volunteer work
expertise
financial planning
retirement
age-related diseases
medical research
healthier lifestyles

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Childhood obesity is being a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of this? What solutions can be offered?

Work is more important than leisure. Do you agree or disagree?

Animal are in danger of extinction. Some people say that we should protect only those animals which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree with this.

Government of many countries had to impose a lockdown to control the Coronavirus pandemic. What were the advantages and disadvantages of this lockdown. Give example from your own experience.

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual well-being What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?