One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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People are living longer and have higher life expectancy
as a result
Linking Words

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of better medical care. I think
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

development has both advantages and disadvantages.
This
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essay will focus on the good and bad of improved medical care.
Above all
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, advancements in medicinal treatment
allows
Change the verb form
allow

The singular verb allows does not appear to agree with the plural subject advancements. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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doctors to apply the most effective methods of treatment, or treat diseases thought to be uncurable before. Medical
watch
Fix the agreement mistake
watches

It seems that watch may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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may take half as usual with proper technology,
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

new medicinal breakthroughs could treat conditions
such
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as Alzheimer's or rabies.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a new breakthrough in cancer research
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred

If you don’t want occured to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in the US, a vaccine
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

capable of eliminating a vast majority of cancer cells, which might become a new effective cancer treatment.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the vaccine is still in
it's
Replace the word
its

It appears that the contraction it's should be a possessive pronoun instead. Consider changing it.

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testing phase, it could redefine the whole pharmaceutical world as we know it today.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, with each advancement, nursing becomes increasingly expensive.
Cutting edge
Add a hyphen
Cutting-edge

It seems that Cutting edge is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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technology requires money to be spent and paid for, which is taken from the patients and the government.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the US might have
cutting edge
Add a hyphen
cutting-edge

It seems that cutting edge is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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technology when it comes to pharmaceutics, the prices are outrageous. A simple trip on an ambulance could cost individuals tens of thousands of dollars without health insurance,
meanwhile
Capitalize word
Meanwhile

The word meanwhile should be capitalized in this context.

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developing countries
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as India, Bangladesh or South Africa might not have the best methods of healing, but they are considerably more affordable. In conclusion, without a doubt, improved medicinal care and higher life expectancy
is
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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a positive
factor
Fix the agreement mistake
factors

It seems that factor may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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all countries, but it does not matter if a person can not afford it.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
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