Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #parties #birthday #celebrations #waste #money #individuals #society

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Nowadays, it is becoming common for

people

to spend a lot on celebrations

such

as weddings, and birthdays.

However

, some societies believe it is just a waste of payment,

while

others argue that it is important for individuals and society. In fact, I side with those who believe that it is necessary to spend a lot on celebrations. On the one hand,

parties

can be an event that gathers families and friends. In

this

modern era, society seems to be busier than ever. They more focus on their jobs and achievements.

However

, they do not have much time on exclusive nights

together with

relatives and friends. By having exclusive

parties

, workers can enjoy their time with

people

that they love. A big amount of

money

on celebrations means a lot of

people

that can be invited.

Moreover

, it will help to build a strong connection in the group.

As a result

, citizens become closer and know their relatives better.

On the other hand

, spending huge

money

parties

is just a waste. Many citizens do not want to spend their salary on

parties

because they have another priority. They think that the

money

can be used for something more useful

such

as education or vacation.

For instance

, a mother chooses to give their children

money

for taking courses rather than making a party for their children. By taking courses, youngsters can gain long-term effects rather than only having a night celebration.

Consequently

people

more focus on their long-term goals.

To sum up

parties

can bring the community together and strengthen their bonds.

However

, I am firmly convinced that spending too much

money

parties

is not a wise choice as

people

can use it for more useful purposes.

People

need to limit their budget on

parties

and save their

money

for their future.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Thu Aug 24 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph supports the main idea and is logically connected to the preceding and following paragraphs.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and details to support the points and make the ideas clearer.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

extravagant
frivolous
lavish
unnecessary
excessive
consumerism
unrealistic
social bonds
milestones
local businesses
celebrate
memorable
nostalgic
cherish
community

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Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that there should be a single official international language. Others oppose to this idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's world of advanced science and techonology, we still greatly vaulue our artists such as muscians, painters and writers. What can art tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

Living alone is better than living in with someone. .Do you agree or disagree?

Topic: In many countries, more and more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?