IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the clothes people wear are the most important indication of what they are like. Others, however, say that people should not be judged by they clothes they wear. Discuss both these views and give your own opiniom. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
clothes
Use synonyms
 are so important since they indicate
people
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's
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
preference
Punctuation problem
preference,
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 another argument says, the
clothes
Use synonyms
 worn do not tell anything.
This
Linking Words
 paper will discuss both of these arguments and state personal opinion in the end. Most
people
Use synonyms
 believe
clothes
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 represent many things
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as personality and social status.
For example
Linking Words
, when
people
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 have an interview for work, they want to be seen as having a good personality and trustworthy;
hence
Linking Words
, they are trying to wear formal
clothes
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 rather than casual ones. Another example is
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 that celebrities are keen on wearing expensive
clothes
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 to sustain their glamorous image.
This
Linking Words
 act somehow indicates social status when
people
Use synonyms
 want to maintain an image as rich or wealthy
people
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.
However
Linking Words
, there are still
people
Use synonyms
 who think
clothes
Use synonyms
 should not be an indicator to see what
people
Use synonyms
’s preferences
since
Verb problem
are since
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
 are only about function and nothing more than that. By arguing
this
Linking Words
 means
clothes
Use synonyms
 can be used simply to protect the body from extreme weather.
Thus
Linking Words
,
clothes
Use synonyms
 are nothing about
people
Use synonyms
's personality or preference but only cover the body. I personally think
people
Use synonyms
 should not be judged by anything they wear, since it is not fair. I think we should see
clothes
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 only because of their function and based on our needs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are many areas to see what
people
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 like
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as how they manage their money or how they manage their
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 with others. Those things
still can
Correct word order
can still
show examples
 tell many more than what
clothes
Use synonyms
 are shown. In conclusion, some
people
Use synonyms
 might judge
people
Use synonyms
’s
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
 by their
clothes
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some might not, since
clothes
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 only
clothes
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, nothing more.
Hence
Linking Words
, I am likely to see
clothes
Use synonyms
 as they are without associating them with
people
Use synonyms
's personalities because it is just unfair.

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structure
Work on linking ideas. Use simple linking words (and, but, also, however) to show how your points fit together.
language
Check grammar and keep wording simple. Some sentences are rough or wrong grammar; fix these to be clear.
task
Add a short, clear conclusion that restates your view and sums up the two sides.
content
Two sides are shown and your own view is given.
content
Examples of an interview and celebs support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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