Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

These days, celebrities are getting more fame for their glamour and wealth rather than their accolades. Some

people

seem to think

this

is not good for the younger minds who are getting inspired by them. There are several aspects to

this

mindset. On one

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

there are many platforms on social

media

for becoming a star overnight. All of the success has rounded down to the views and likes these days. Grades and results seem to be things from the yesteryears. As access to social applications is increasing, the number of

people

getting

Verb problem

becoming

show examples

famous is

also

rising.

Consequently

new

Add an article

a new

the new

show examples

generation is following them more as the days go by. Simultaneously, they are fantasising

the

Correct article usage

show examples

life of glamour and wealth rather than focusing on their studies.

Media

is becoming tremendously influential in the lives of young

people

On the other hand

, the pressure created by p the parents to get a particular score has

also

driven children away from studies.

Subsequently

, they are getting attracted to the easy way of becoming an icon and earning money. Mobile and computers were used as recreational therapy but they are becoming an escape from the stresses of life. Young

people

enjoy scrolling through social

media

and having a good laugh after a hectic day.

To conclude

Although

media

has gained power over the minds of

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

generation, but household plays a role in shaping them too. Parents need to

damp

Verb problem

calm

show examples

the pressure down and understand their children's passion.

This

will help the juveniles to be inspired by their professional ideals. In spite of focusing on glamour and

wealth

Add a comma

,wealth

show examples

they will be more concentrated on the achievements of celebrities.

Submitted by biki982008 on Thu Aug 24 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen or pencil. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

A lot of places in the word rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern word. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?