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Band 2

Do you believe that professional athletes make good role models for young people? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own lmowl- edge or experience.

#athletes #role #models #people #support #lmowl- #edge
It is undeniable that professional athletes are
one
 of the most popular groups in each country. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation tends to follow them in many aspects like clothing and interest. In many
nations
Add a comma
,nations
show examples
 it is a controversial issue whether sports stars are good role models for youth or not. I agree that these can stars have a positive impact on young people as a model. On the
one
 hand, young people do not have enough life experience.
Therefore
 they are more likely to be confused about finding their favorite sports.
However
, if children idolise an athlete, they try to learn all the technics that they do in their profession.
Also
, young
fan
Fix the agreement mistake
fans
show examples
 tend to wear and speak like their models,
for example
 my brother is
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a die-hard fan of Ronaldo who is
one
 of the best football
player
Change to a plural noun
players
show examples
 in the world and so he likes
cloth
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
 and
haircut
Fix the agreement mistake
haircuts
show examples
 like him.
Additionally
, he plays football
profissionally
Correct your spelling
professionally
 and now he become a member of the football team in Arak.
Submitted by n.rezaei199170 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role model
  • inspire
  • discipline
  • dedication
  • perseverance
  • healthy lifestyle
  • proper diet
  • regular exercise
  • mental health
  • charity work
  • social causes
  • giving back to the community
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • overcoming obstacles
  • celebrity influence
  • impressionable
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