Do you believe that professional athletes make good role models for young people? Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your own lmowl- edge or experience.

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It is undeniable that professional athletes are
one
of the most popular groups in each country. As
the
Correct article usage
a
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result,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation tends to follow them in many aspects like clothing and interest. In many
nations
Add a comma
,nations
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it is a controversial issue whether sports stars are good role models for youth or not. I agree that these can stars have a positive impact on young people as a model. On the
one
hand, young people do not have enough life experience.
Therefore
they are more likely to be confused about finding their favorite sports.
However
, if children idolise an athlete, they try to learn all the technics that they do in their profession.
Also
, young
fan
Fix the agreement mistake
fans
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tend to wear and speak like their models,
for example
my brother is
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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of
Change preposition
apply
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a die-hard fan of Ronaldo who is
one
of the best football
player
Change to a plural noun
players
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in the world and so he likes
cloth
Correct your spelling
clothes
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and
haircut
Fix the agreement mistake
haircuts
show examples
like him.
Additionally
, he plays football
profissionally
Correct your spelling
professionally
and now he become a member of the football team in Arak.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role model
  • inspire
  • discipline
  • dedication
  • perseverance
  • healthy lifestyle
  • proper diet
  • regular exercise
  • mental health
  • charity work
  • social causes
  • giving back to the community
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • overcoming obstacles
  • celebrity influence
  • impressionable
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