IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

This graph demonstrate the information about tourists to England who came to see four diffrent attractions in Brighton.

#information #tourists #england #four #diffrent #attractions #brighton
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 graph
demonstrate
Change the verb form
demonstrates
show examples
 the information about tourists to England who came to see four
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 attractions in Brighton. There are four primary attractions
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has the most huge spread
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
 tourists.
This
Linking Words
 is
Art
Correct article usage
an Art
show examples
 gallery,Pavilion,Pier,
Festival
Correct word choice
and Festival
show examples
 and each of them offer
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 sort of entertainment. The peak of
thourists
Correct your spelling
tourists
 was during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1995 and
this
Linking Words
 peak has been gained by Pavilion.
Thier
Correct your spelling
Their
 visitings increased from 25% to 49% and
afterwards
Add a comma
,afterwards
show examples
 step by step
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 to 31 % in 2010.
By contrast
Linking Words
,The lowest results were shown by Pier in 1995,their indicator from 10%
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
 at least to 15% in 1995,
Linking Words
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 went up gradually to 25% in 2010. What about the rest two attractions?Art
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
show examples
 showed
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 imposing 38% quantity of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 1985
however
Linking Words
 their indicator decreased to less than 10% in 2010.In
compasion
Correct your spelling
comparison
compassion
 with it,
Festival
Correct article usage
the Festival
show examples
 has obtained the most stable quantity of
visitors
Use synonyms
 ever.It has 30% and
then
Linking Words
hadnt
Correct your spelling
hadn't
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
showed
has shown
show examples
a big changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a big change
big changes
show examples
 in
percents
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 we can notice that the most
satable
Correct your spelling
suitable
stable
 indicators have Festival and Pavilion has had the highest amount of
visitors
Use synonyms
 ever.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: