IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It has been suggested that all young adults should be required to undertake a period of unpaid work helping in the community. What are the benefits and drawback of such a requirement to the community and the young adults?

There is a belief that the young generation must undertake a period of unpaid
work
Use synonyms
 helping in the community. It is believed that there are many pros and cons related to
this
Linking Words
 in relation to community and young adults. I will discuss both the views in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the younger generation of any country is their future and to make them more responsible it is believed that they all must
work
Use synonyms
 at a young age without taking any salary in return so that they can understand the value of the same.
For example
Linking Words
, when a person works somewhere without taking anything in return he is there only to learn a new skill or collect experience for future use.
As a result
Linking Words
, when facing the real world and job he is a step ahead of the people who
work
Use synonyms
 for the very first time because of his experience.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there few disadvantages to
Use synonyms
work
Change the verb form
working
show examples
 like
this
Linking Words
 as one does not gain anything in return and sometimes it becomes difficult for the young ones to even commute to their
Use synonyms
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 because of lack of money.
In addition
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 devote most of their time at their office and
due to
Linking Words
 that they are not able to spend quality time with their loved ones.
Consequently
Linking Words
, children sometimes even feel depressed and stressed out
due to
Linking Words
 excess
work
Use synonyms
 pressure.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would say that there are always two sides to everything and one must need to learn how to balance both. And most importantly the
work
Use synonyms
 done should turn up in
such
Linking Words
 a way that it benefits both the children
as well as
Linking Words
 the society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the writing clearly addresses all parts of the task prompt and stays focused on the topic throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing ideas coherently and ensuring that there is a clear introduction and conclusion.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: