IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more people want to buy clothes , cars and other items with famous brand . What are the reason ? Is it positive or negative development?

#people #clothes #cars #items #brand #reason #development
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Nowadays, through the improvement of society and the expand a lot of
Use synonyms
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
 in the market with large
promotion
Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to buy logo
clothes
Use synonyms
,cars and other items.As it brings positive and negative
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 in
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
 live.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 coming
paragraphs
Fix the agreement mistake
paragraph
show examples
 will highlight what are the
reson
Correct your spelling
reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 habit
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
And is it
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 or negative
trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
? These days in our development community there are many reason leads
people
Use synonyms
 to buy high
brand
Use synonyms
.
first
Capitalize word
First
show examples
 of all ,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
belong to
Use synonyms
class
Correct article usage
a class
show examples
 family
however
Linking Words
, they can buy any expensive material
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to represent their lives as the able.
In addition
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
argues
Change the verb form
argue
show examples
 that using and wearing
brand
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
comesout
Correct your spelling
comes out
come out
 with
hidh
Correct your spelling
high
 quality.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
weraing
Correct your spelling
wearing
clothes
Use synonyms
 from
certain
Add an article
the certain
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
famous
Use synonyms
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
 can create
physical
Add an article
a physical
show examples
 treatment
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 for women. It
consider
Wrong verb form
is considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a positive point as some
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 have
passion
Add an article
a passion
the passion
show examples
to live
Change preposition
for living
show examples
 a
luxuries
Replace the word
luxurious
show examples
 life
otherwise
Linking Words
 they are able to buy.
For instance
Linking Words
,nation from
upperclassman
Fix the agreement mistake
upperclassmen
show examples
 can not live without entertainment,as they
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 buying
brand
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
,cars and even phones is one of most happiest
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 and charges
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 energy .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , there is a negative
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
 on
consumes
Wrong verb form
consuming
show examples
 high material, poor
people
Use synonyms
 feel they are unable to live same other
people
Use synonyms
, as it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sense in
differences
Correct article usage
the differences
show examples
 between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 nations.
As a result
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 from
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
class
Use synonyms
 cause distinct
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 as they are not able to be like the
upper
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
class
Use synonyms
 family .
To conclude
Linking Words
, the development of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 has a positive and negative impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
 from upper and lower
Use synonyms
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
creates
Change the verb form
create
show examples
 a gap between them.In my opinion,
brand
Use synonyms
clothes
Use synonyms
means
Change the verb form
mean
show examples
 high quality production so, if anyone
able
Add a missing verb
is able
show examples
 to buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 why not
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Submitted by Ssaraan2017 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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