Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors to take part in major competitions such as Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people say that it would be better to spend this money encouraging children to take up sports from a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The idea that countries spend too much money preparing sportsmen for major events and should

instead

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use

this

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funding to promote sports to kids is one I do not agree with.

First,

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sports are incredibly important because it unites the people of the country.

For example

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, my parents told me the story of when Bulgaria was fourth in the football World Cup in 1994 and the streets were full of people with the national flag, singing the anthem.

Second,

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achievements in big competitions give a sense of pride in nations because they feel part of the success.

Third,

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the athletes become role models for the younger generation. I believe many of us as children wanted to be the best at some game just like our favourite athlete.

Nevertheless

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, athletics in children's lives is necessary. It is a well-known fact that physical activity in the early stages of life will have health benefits for a lifetime. Playing a team sport teaches how to be a part of a team and not play only for yourself and communicate well with others. There is no doubt that to be good in a sport a lot of great qualities

such

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as discipline and responsibility are needed. In my opinion, the best thing about taking part in physical activity is the friends made along the way, because to me friendships are what have lasted even after I gave up on some sports. In conclusion, physical activity in young people's lives is great for their development but there is no need to take money from professional competitors because their victories inspire children and unite everyone in a nation.

evamironova65Fri Aug 25 2023

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task response

The essay provides relevant examples to support the main points, which contributes to the clarity of the ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. Consider using transition words and organizing the ideas more coherently.

lexical resource

The range of vocabulary and the use of examples are good, but more varied and precise vocabulary would enhance the essay.

grammatical range

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, but there are some errors in sentence structure and tense consistency. Proofreading for these issues is recommended.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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