IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government should spend money on railway rather than roads. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statment

#government #money #railway #roads #statment
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Nowadays, there are a lot of traffic jams in over the world,
thus
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 governments should address the issue. They make a decision to build roads and railways because traffic is murdered Bumper-to-bumper and terrible. My point of view is that they must most spend money on railways, and subways.
This
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 essay will note the reason for
this
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 comment. To institute, many societies prefer to
use
Use synonyms
 the train for moving everywhere and commuting, so It is by far the most popular means for societies. Not only do they put away a pretty Penny, but
also
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 they reach their destination on time because in roadways there is one vehicle which causes there are not any jams when roadway and subway lines are built individuals have access to a lot of lines
as a consequence
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 the more choices for every person to select one line.
Moreover
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, when roadways are used by people, It really dramatically helps the environment, Another world is really eco-friendly because fewer cars on the street. Less air pollution in the city. Plus
this
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 is the best way
for controlling
Change preposition
to control
show examples
 traffic congestion.
Although
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 folks are supposed to
use
Use synonyms
 trains, subwaysmust be built with modern technology When societies
use
Use synonyms
 it, they feel comfortable,
also
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, it should be easy to access 
for example
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 if there are not many stops, people don't
use
Use synonyms
 trains. Taking into account of arguments, I take the view that, building metro lines is better than building new roads because
this
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 action results in encouraging people which take a train Of course, course the train has good options
such
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 as ventilation, Internet and sufficient chairs. City officials ought to be sure that
this
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 investment is of high logic.
Submitted by nc.rafeeha on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas presented in a disorganized manner. It is important to outline a clear structure for the essay to ensure coherence and cohesion throughout.
task response
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting reasons for prioritizing investment in railways over roads. However, there is a lack of clear development and explanation of ideas, leading to a partial response to the task. Ensure that the essay provides a well-structured argument and fully addresses the given topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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