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Band 6

The diagrams illustrate the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960, 1980 and 2000 years.

The diagrams illustrate the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960, 1980 and 2000 years.
#diagrams #changes #place #queen #mary #construction #years
The diagrams illustrate the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960, 1980 and 2000
years
.
Overall
,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all three mentioned
years
 are noticably seen the Hospital that still
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 place
as well as
Car
Correct article usage
the Car
show examples
 Park, but with a bit of change in 2000. There are Shopping Centre and Farmland that prevailed only in 1960,
however
, in other
years
 they were demolished.
Although
 in 1980 and 2000 there were no
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 construction, but with alteration of setting. All in all, there are Cancer
Centre
Fix the agreement mistake
Centres
show examples
,
Nursing
Correct article usage
a Nursing
show examples
 School,
Car
Correct article usage
a Car
show examples
 Park
as well
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 Pharmacy that
undergone
Add a missing verb
have undergone
show examples
 fewer modifications.
Firstly
, the Pharmacy was in
conjuction
Correct your spelling
conjunction
 with Hospital
establishment
Fix the agreement mistake
establishments
show examples
 in 1980 and 2000.
Secondly
,
although
, Cancer
Correct your spelling
the cancer
 Centre
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 apartment in 1980,
subsequently
Rephrase
apply
show examples
after 20
years
 became
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 largest one in comparison with others,
also
 replacing
Nursing
Correct article usage
the Nursing
show examples
 School,
whereas
, Nursing
Correct your spelling
the nursing
 School became considerably smaller
along with
Car
Correct article usage
the Car
show examples
 park.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, as well as".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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