IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams illustrate the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960, 1980 and 2000 years.

The diagrams illustrate the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960, 1980 and 2000 years.
#diagrams #changes #place #queen #mary #construction #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagrams illustrate the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960, 1980 and 2000
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all three mentioned
years
Use synonyms
 are noticably seen the Hospital that still
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 place
as well as
Linking Words
Car
Correct article usage
the Car
show examples
 Park, but with a bit of change in 2000. There are Shopping Centre and Farmland that prevailed only in 1960,
however
Linking Words
, in other
years
Use synonyms
 they were demolished.
Although
Linking Words
 in 1980 and 2000 there were no
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 construction, but with alteration of setting. All in all, there are Cancer
Centre
Fix the agreement mistake
Centres
show examples
,
Nursing
Correct article usage
a Nursing
show examples
 School,
Car
Correct article usage
a Car
show examples
 Park
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 Pharmacy that
undergone
Add a missing verb
have undergone
show examples
 fewer modifications.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the Pharmacy was in
conjuction
Correct your spelling
conjunction
 with Hospital
establishment
Fix the agreement mistake
establishments
show examples
 in 1980 and 2000.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
, Cancer
Correct your spelling
the cancer
 Centre
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 apartment in 1980,
Linking Words
subsequently
Rephrase
apply
show examples
after 20
years
Use synonyms
 became
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 largest one in comparison with others,
also
Linking Words
 replacing
Nursing
Correct article usage
the Nursing
show examples
 School,
whereas
Linking Words
, Nursing
Correct your spelling
the nursing
 School became considerably smaller
along with
Linking Words
Car
Correct article usage
the Car
show examples
 park.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, as well as".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: