The line graph below represents the percentage of tourists to Engalnd who visited four different

#line #percentage #tourists #engalnd #four

The line graph below represents the percentage of tourists to

Engalnd

Correct your spelling

England

who visited four different Brighton attractions between 1980 and 2010. As we see, in 1980 and 2010 the most popular leisure

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

were the Pavilion and the Festival. In 1980 the least popular

attraction

was the Pier,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

in 2010

this

had changed and the Art gallery became the least popular one. During the 1980s and

1985s

Add a comma

,1985s

show examples

there was a huge amount of

visitors

who wanted to visit the Art gallery. The percentage of

visitors

had changed from 22% to 38%.

Same

Correct article usage

The same

show examples

happened to the Pavilion, but in another time period. In

1980s

Change the article

the 1980s

show examples

it was a pretty popular

attraction

, but in 1985 and 1995

visitors

suddenly increased from 26% to almost 50%.

Visitors

Change preposition

show examples

the Pier

also

fluctuated

from

Change preposition

between

show examples

1980 and 2005,

then

it had

rised

Correct your spelling

risen

raised

and significantly made the Art gallery the worst

between

Change preposition

among

show examples

all Brighton attractions. On the whole, all Brighton

attraction

Fix the agreement mistake

attractions

show examples

had a lot of changes. For the whole period Festival

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

experienced a bit of fluctuations, and it was the most peaceful one.It ended the year up as the

second best

Add a hyphen

second-best

show examples

attraction

in England.

Submitted by dnm.best on Fri Aug 25 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words attraction, visitors with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "represents" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

188 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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