The qualities a person needs to become truly successful in today's world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that a college
education
is not helpful in achieving real accomplishment in life
whereas
there are some other values that an individual needs to become really successful. I partially agree with
this
notion that people need
education
along with
qualities like
work
and dedication to be prosperous.
To begin
with, the first and foremost reason for the importance of
education
in the individual life is that they can gain theoretical knowledge from the institution teaching,
as a result
, they can broaden their horizons by having new information regarding any subject. To explain, learning at any university can assist the masses in developing new skills like communication, group
work
and practical
as well as
theoretical knowledge.
For example
, there was a survey conducted in India, in which it was observed that 70 per cent of the people become truly victorious with the help of a university teaching.
On the other hand
, there are numerous other characteristics that are
also
essential for achieving success like hard
work
and dedication. When the masses start working to achieve any goal
then
hard
work
and devotion play a vital role in achieving it. Some masses devote their whole time to becoming prosperous and they put in blood, sweat and tears to achieve that success.
For instance
, when individuals want to become successful in their lives they
work
days and nights with a commitment to achieving their desired goals.
To sum up
,
although
education
is the key to success, there are some other features that a person needs to achieve true victory in their life
such
as hard
work
and dedication.
Submitted by Yia  on

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task response
The essay provides a partial answer to the prompt, but it lacks a clear position. The agreement with the notion is not effectively conveyed, and the extent of agreement is not clearly addressed. It is important to clearly state a position and provide a balanced argument with supporting examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a basic logical structure, but the development of ideas is limited. There is an attempt at using transitional phrases, but they are not used effectively. To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically connected throughout the essay.
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