In some countries young people choosing to enrol in work based training instead of university education

In today's society, Education is an aspect of life that has been given the utmost importance.
While
in many countries young people choose to enrol in vocational training
instead
of pursuing a university education.
However
,
this
practice brings about a mix beg of both and bane. I believe that work-based training surely
brought
Wrong verb form
brings
show examples
positive benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
students.
Therefore
, the advantages clearly outshine the disadvantages. On the constructive part, younglings
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
blessed with numerous merits because of apprenticeship at an early age.
To begin
with, being employed just after finishing school can bring a sense of responsibility.
For instance
,
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a recent article published by
American
Correct article usage
an American
show examples
magazine reported that approximately 80% of American youth started their own career at eighteen and
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
mostly
succeed
Wrong verb form
succeeded
show examples
in it.
Secondly
, vocational training can enhance abilities to try newer things. To illustrate, many students have found their desired career during their on-the-job training period. The famous founder of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
big textile brand in India got inspiration from his first part-time job in a cloth factory.
Thirdly
, eating in their initial stage of age has benefited them in other aspects of life.they become independent and learn to deal with real-life challenges. It can make them wise and mature. In
this
phase
Add a comma
,phase
show examples
while
they are on their own they are more likely to avoid silly mistakes. On the destructive part, there appears to be
short-coming
Correct your spelling
shortcomings
show examples
in
this
trend. Chiefly, tertiary education is essential for the growth and development of a person. University can sharpen the knowledge and skills of individuals at the next level.
it
Capitalize word
It
show examples
is
also
worth mentioning that higher qualifications provide
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
life and bigger salaries.
similarly
Capitalize word
Similarly
show examples
, it is often observed that youngsters are stuck in their basic jobs forever.and
also
develop laziness to switch careers. I believe that there is no significant drawback that can outweigh the advantages.
precisely
Capitalize word
Precisely
show examples
trying every kind of work can open a wide range of opportunities for students.
Submitted by sharmap1811 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: