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Band 5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #choices
Previously, in the time of our ancestors leading
life
 was very simple.
However
, nowadays because of
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of facilities for the new generation, it is being witnessed,
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
 have had a lot of choices in their lives
such
 as choosing new ways for income, new fields of study, etc. In
this
 essay, I will explain the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 agreeing to
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
 statement.
To begin
 with, from different
studies
Add a comma
,studies
show examples
 it has been observed that people taking risks are always more successful as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
ones’
Change noun form
ones
show examples
 that don’t.
Furthermore
, they become
inspiration
Add an article
an inspiration
the inspiration
show examples
 for youngsters and teenagers
watch
Correct pronoun usage
who watch
show examples
 them tend to be like them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and have
this
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 that no matter what happens they will always have opportunities in their
life
.
For instance
, the owner of KFC. He was in his early 60’s when he became successful in establishing a giant brand.
Additionally
, with the boost in technology people sitting at home can have knowledge regarding different fields and can look for
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 pros and cons and choose
accordingly
For example
, Mr. James a famous author in Australia who has too much interest in MBBS, later went for Literature.
This
 happened after he explored various subjects on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
Although
,
this
 is true that we have a lot of choices in
this
 world.
Nevertheless
, we should never forget that our
life
 is limited and someday we all have to die. So, no doubt we should always make decisions as per our choice but should try to stick to that and excel in that in order to enjoy
life
.
Submitted by khannaughty26 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
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