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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.0 score.
This
Linking Words
charts
Change the determiner
chart
show examples
 shows about
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with electrical appliances and
Use synonyms
Number
Correct article usage
the Number
show examples
 of
hour
Change to a plural noun
hours
show examples
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 housework per
week
Use synonyms
, per household between 1920 and 2019. In the first chart washing machine.
Refrigerator
Use synonyms
.
Vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 all rise from 1920 to 2019.
Use synonyms
Refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
Refrigerators
show examples
 and
Vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
increase
Use synonyms
 faster than washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
. In 1920,
Use synonyms
Refrigerator
Correct article usage
the Refrigerator
show examples
just
Add a missing verb
had just
show examples
 zero
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
Refrigerator
Correct article usage
the Refrigerator
show examples
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 30
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
, but in 2019 they all
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
100
Change preposition
by 100
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
. Washing machine is to
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
households
Use synonyms
 in 1920,
however
Linking Words
 in 2019 is just
increase
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 15
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
households
Use synonyms
, and washing
mashine
Correct your spelling
machine
is
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
overed
Correct your spelling
covered
 by
Pefrigerator
Correct your spelling
Refrigerator
 and
Vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 in 1940 and 1960.
Use synonyms
Vacuum
Add an article
The vacuum
A vacuum
show examples
 cleaner
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
overed
Correct your spelling
covered
 by Pefrigerator in 1942. In the second chart Houses per
week
Use synonyms
 is 50
Number
Use synonyms
 of hours per
week
Use synonyms
, but it decline to 10
Number
Use synonyms
 of hours per
week
Use synonyms
 in 2019. Over
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
,
Correct article usage
the percentang
show examples
percentang
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with
electical
Correct your spelling
electrical
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
however
Linking Words
Number
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per
week
Use synonyms
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 from 1920 to 2019.
Submitted by hamoudisayyah on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, households, number, week, refrigerator, vacuum, increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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