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Writing Samples
Band 7

Paying all workers the same salary in a company promotes harmony and respect amongst colleagues. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is sometimes argued that paying all
employees
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 the same
salary
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 is the best way to promote harmony and mutual
respect
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 in the
workplace
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. I strongly disagree with
this
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 view because
employees
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 have different levels of
experience
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,
qualifications
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 and responsibilities, and equal pay may reduce their motivation to improve their performance.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, salaries should reflect an employee's
qualifications
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,
experience
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 and level of responsibility. People who have spent many years developing their expertise or who are responsible for making important decisions generally contribute more to an organisation and should
therefore
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 receive higher remuneration. If a newly recruited employee receives the same
salary
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 as a highly experienced worker, there may be little financial incentive for them to gain
further
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qualifications
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 or take on additional responsibilities.
For example
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, a junior doctor who has just started working in a hospital would not normally be expected to receive the same
salary
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 as a senior specialist who has spent many years acquiring advanced skills and treating complex cases. A system that rewards
experience
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 and professional development can
therefore
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 encourage
employees
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 to improve themselves and perform better.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
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, harmony and
respect
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 among colleagues are more likely to result from a fair and respectful
workplace
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 culture than from identical salaries.
Employees
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 should be encouraged to treat one another with dignity
regardless
Punctuation problem
, regardless
show examples
 of their position or income.
For instance
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, senior staff should show the same
respect
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 to junior
employees
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 and support workers,
such
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 as cleaners and security guards, as they expect from others. Companies can promote
this
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 culture by establishing clear standards of professional behaviour, encouraging teamwork and dealing fairly with
workplace
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 conflicts. In
this
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 way, mutual
respect
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 can be maintained without requiring every employee to earn the same amount.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly disagree that paying all workers the same
salary
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 is an effective way to promote
workplace
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 harmony. Salaries should
instead
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 reflect
employees
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'
qualifications
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,
experience
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 and responsibilities,
while
Linking Words
respect
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 should be encouraged through fairness, professionalism and positive
workplace
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 values.

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task response
Your view is very clear from the start, and you answer the full question. To make it even stronger, add one short point about why some people may think same pay brings peace, then show why fair pay is still better.
task response
Your main ideas are well explained: pay should match skill, time, and duty; respect comes from fair treatment. You could make the link to harmony more direct by saying that unfair same pay may make skilled staff feel less valued.
task response
The doctor example is clear and fits your point well. You may add one more short work example, such as a team leader and a new worker, to show that this issue can happen in many jobs.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear shape: opening, two main parts, and an ending. Each part has one main idea, so it is easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Your linking words, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'For example', and 'In conclusion', guide the reader well. Try to use a few less fixed links and join ideas with simple words such as 'because', 'so', and 'while' for a more natural flow.
coherence and cohesion
The ending clearly repeats your view and brings both main points together. Keep this strong style, but avoid repeating too many of the same words from the opening when you can say the idea in a new way.
task response
You take a strong and clear position, and every main part supports it.
task response
The junior doctor and senior specialist example is real, clear, and closely linked to your idea about skill and duty.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is very clear, and the reader can follow your argument from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening and ending match well, which gives the essay a complete feel.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • salary equality
  • pay gap
  • workplace harmony
  • mutual respect
  • sense of fairness
  • team spirit
  • equal treatment
  • job responsibility
  • level of experience
  • specialist skills
  • reward performance
  • financial incentive
  • employee motivation
  • career progression
  • staff retention
  • high-performing employees
  • transparent pay system
  • performance-based pay
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