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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below show the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port City Center from 2003 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant

The chart below show the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port City Center from 2003 to 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant
#show #changes #place #three #areas #crime #port #city #center #summarise #information #features #comparisions
The Graph illustrates the changes that took place
New
Change preposition
in New
show examples
 Port City Center Crime in three different places from 2003 to 2012.
Overall
, The crime rate was reduced
throuthout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the passing
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 though one is more significant and
Correct article usage
the others
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 two are almost steady state.
To begin
, The Burglary Offence
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
reduceing
Correct your spelling
reducing
reduced
 significantly from 2003 to 2012. From the very
beginning
Add a comma
,beginning
show examples
 the
theift
Correct your spelling
theft
 cases are almost 3500 and increasing the next
year
. From
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2004 to following subsequent
year
 the
number
 of incidents dipped and reached
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
number
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2008 in
around
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more than 1000
occurance
Correct your spelling
occurrences
.
Additionally
,
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 next four years the
number
 of
incidence
Change to a plural noun
incidences
show examples
are
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not much
fluctuated
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. Apart
from
Correct pronoun usage
thisfrom
show examples
,
Other
Correct article usage
the Other
show examples
 two illegal
act
Fix the agreement mistake
acts
show examples
 are not much more visually changed. Car
threft
Correct your spelling
theft
starting
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 at
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 percentage greater than 2500 in 2003 and ended
Correct article usage
a litte
show examples
litte
Correct your spelling
little
 less than 2500 in 2012. Throughout the whole time
pwriod
Correct your spelling
period
 the
number
 of
occurrence
Change to a plural noun
occurrences
show examples
 lowest
number
 almost 2000 in the
year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2006. Robbery Cases are the steady
stae
Correct your spelling
state
 conditions in the full period of time from 2003 to 2012. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclutions
Correct your spelling
conclusions
conclusion
, The unlawful
act
Fix the agreement mistake
acts
show examples
 declined
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 time pwriod though one is noticeable and
Correct article usage
the others
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 two are not
sifnificant
Correct your spelling
significant
.
Submitted by jonahid.stu20ju on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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