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Writing Samples
Band 5

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is young people have little leisure time and they are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies.

#people #leisure #time #pressure #work #studies
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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is young
people
Use synonyms
 have little leisure
time
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 and they are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. It is undeniable that
study
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 has become an essential part of our life.
However
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, these days
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study
Wrong verb form
studying is
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 becoming difficult from
time
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 to
time
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, and because of what
people
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 strive for
the
Correct your spelling
they
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 top and forgetting about their personal lives. One of the main aspects of the problem is that most adolescents feel
themselves stressfull
Correct word choice
stressed
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 because of
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study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 and
by
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apply
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comparing
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
 to the achievements of
other
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their
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 peers. One of the main reasons behind
that is
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,
parents
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that parents
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 teach their
child
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children
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 from childhood to be smarter by literally brainwashing them with studies, and
this
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 causes young
people
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 to feel under
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pressure when they are not satisfied with their academic results.
This
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 could lead to serious mental problems or might result in
human's
Correct article usage
a human's
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 personality. To tackle
this
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 problem
people
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 should take a balance
of
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in
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 every sphere of life,
for
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instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
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 to
go
Verb problem
apply
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the gym and other extracurricular activities,
relaxing
Wrong verb form
relax
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 and things like that.
This
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 may be
easiest
Correct article usage
the easiest
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 and so the best way to keep the balance,
just
Add a missing verb
is just
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take
Fix the infinitive
to take
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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note of
your
Change the word
the
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 things that you need to do, in a word keep
time
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 management and use different techniques when you
study
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. Having weighed everything mentioned up, we can come to
a
Correct article usage
the
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 conclusion that youngsters should keep their regimen and remind their own personal lives to spend their energy
in
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on
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 useful things. So it would not be
suprising
Correct your spelling
surprising
see
Fix the infinitive
to see
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 some young generation with psychological disorders if continue in the same spirit, in the near future. Actions must be taken urgently,
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otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
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 we will get the other side of what we wanted.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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