New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

The advancement of
technologies
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technology
show examples
has transformed our lives in many ways. Even for young
children
, most of them spend their leisure
time
on
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apply
show examples
watching videos, browsing
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, or playing video games. There are some distinctive advantages and disadvantages of
this
development, I believe ultimately parents do play a pivotal role in making sure their
children
reaps
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reap
show examples
the most benefits of
technologies
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technological
show examples
advancement. On the good side, the
internet
is full of information and knowledge. Apart from formal education in school,
children
get more exposure
from
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to
show examples
the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
and
this
effectively widens their general knowledge.
For example
, aside
of
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from
show examples
the common subjects in school, from the
internet
children
can learn about foreign languages, new cultures, etc.
This
means during leisure
time
,
children
are picking up new information which could fuel their curiosity.
While
in the long term, continuous learning becomes a habit for
children
. On the flip side, spending too much
time
in the virtual world means lesser social interaction with others. A common issue among young
children
these days is they prefer to browse the
internet
on smart gadgets than
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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time
with their friends. Losing social interaction could lead to
feeling
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feelings
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of isolation and
this
will cause adverse impacts on
children
’s’ emotional well-being.
In addition
, sitting down
long
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for long
show examples
hour
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hours
show examples
with smart gadgets can make
children
become lazy and physically unfit. Ultimately, it might impact their body because childhood is an essential period for
muscles
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muscle
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development in the body. In my
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
, the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages because losing social skills and being unhealthy are detrimental to
overall
life satisfaction. The key is to strike a balance between making full use of technology and creating
healthy
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a healthy
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environment for
children
to grow up with both emotional and physical well-being.
For example
, parents could limit the
time
children
spend on smart
gadget
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gadgets
show examples
and encourage them to play with other
children
instead
. In conclusion, the
internet
will continue to transform human lives and in the case of
children
, parents have full responsibilities in making sure the
advantageous
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advantages
show examples
and disadvantageous of
this
development are well-balanced.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • new technologies
  • children
  • free time
  • access
  • educational resources
  • information
  • development
  • key skills
  • enhancing
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • opportunity
  • connect
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • lack
  • physical activity
  • potential
  • health issues
  • impact
  • social
  • emotional development
  • exposure
  • inappropriate content
  • addiction
  • dependency
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