IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams show the structure of the solar panel and its use

The diagrams show the structure of the solar panel and its use
#diagrams #show #structure #panel
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The maps illustrate the process of assembling a solar panel and how one for either
air
Use synonyms
 or
water
Use synonyms
 works.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are four steps in the process of warming up
water
Use synonyms
 and
air
Use synonyms
 for both types of solar
panel
Fix the agreement mistake
panels
show examples
, which can be grouped into two main stages, starting with building the device and ending with warm
air
Use synonyms
 or
water
Use synonyms
. With regard to the construction of the device, a box
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 is attached with two tubes, acting as an inlet and an outlet, is prepared in advance.
Then
Linking Words
, a transparent top is placed on the box. Turning to the procedure of producing heated
air
Use synonyms
, cool
air
Use synonyms
 goes into the box through the inlet.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, sun rays, which can
also
Linking Words
 be called heat energy, warm the transparent
top up
Add a hyphen
top-up
show examples
,
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 hot
air
Use synonyms
 is created, after which it leaves the solar panel through the outlet. Meanwhile,
water
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 experiences a similar proceeding with the exception of the transparent top being replaced by a
water
Use synonyms
 pipe.
Submitted by ngocthuykatie on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words air, water with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: