Today, people can work and live anywhere they want, because of the improvement of communication technology and transport. Do advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #work #improvement #communication #technology #transport #development

For the home

organization

, the

applicant

would return with a wealth of new knowledge and skills that would be invaluable to the

organization

's work. The

applicant

would have the opportunity to learn about different cultures and perspectives,

as well as

develop their cross-cultural skills.

This

would make them

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

more effective

communicator

Fix the agreement mistake

communicators

show examples

and

collaborator

Fix the agreement mistake

collaborators

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and would help them

Verb problem

apply

show examples

build stronger relationships with partners and clients from different cultures.

In addition

, the

applicant

would bring back new ideas and insights that could be used to improve the

organization

's work. The

applicant

would have the opportunity to see how other organizations are addressing similar challenges

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and would be able to apply these learnings to their own work.

This

could lead to new programs, initiatives, or products that would benefit the community. I believe that what he brings from

this

fellowship will have a very positive impact on the progress of the

organization

. The impact will certainly

last

for a long time.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Sat Aug 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay provided does not adequately address the IELTS question prompt about the advantages and disadvantages of people being able to work and live anywhere due to improvements in communication technology and transport. It instead seems to discuss the benefits an applicant may bring to an organization after returning from a fellowship, which is not relevant to the given topic. Make sure to directly respond to the question by discussing the specified advantages and disadvantages.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introduction, logical development of ideas, and a conclusion. The structure is not evident, and there is no clear progression from one point to another. To improve, you must ensure that your essay contains an introduction that paraphrases the question, develops the main points in separate paragraphs with supporting details, and concludes with a summary of the points or your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

160 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Communication technology
Remote working
Economic growth
Cultural exchange
Urban congestion
Social inequalities
Transient populations
Globally homogeneous
Work-life separation
Connectivity
Erosion of local cultures

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Social media has replaced the traditional method of communicating and people use more and more of social media to communicate and follow news and events. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Recent advances of technology provide us effective solutions for many problems in our daily life. Social media platforms, developed thanks to the invention of the internet, has been connecting people through all over the world. Personally, the advantages of social media platform outweight their disadvantages.
7.5
band
In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time jobs while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teenagers working outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
It is a common belief that there are many benefits to persuading teenagers to work while they are students. However, there is a more persuasive argument that there are more drawbacks to making them find jobs because it has a negative effect on their academic success.
<4
band
essay on the tiger and how is it used for and how now days people used it
Tigers are burning bright it is shinning in the shadows and sun but now days tiger getting thinner one By one or two by two people who kill tigers are soulless. Tigers are used for skin care , decoration On the walls and they are bones for some Chinese medicine Once jungles trembled at the roars of the Tigers the birds disappeared the monkeys screamed (uproar)but now the geckos are nibbling on his Ear oh lord stamped upon his skin in equal strips,black and gold shimmer now boar hunter , forest king but now he is gone
5.5
band
Do you think the government is right to stop people using mobile phones while driving?
In this modern world, mobile phones have become indispensable gadgets. Without mobile phones, folks can't dream of even a single day. However, according to a recent survey, due to the increased usage of phones while driving, a huge number of accidents tend to happen on the road. Hence, the government is currently stopping people from using mobiles while driving. I certainly support that move by the government and I have below reasons to support my stance.
<4
band
Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
I have a dream to become a professional and lecturer at IPB University with a specialization in climate and earth. Lecturing is one of the jobs that requires a high level of specialization because a doctoral degree is required to become a lecturer at IPB University. The high qualification makes me obliged to continue my higher education to get the degree. Of course, I am very open to various fields of science related to me, especially the field of climate and earth sciences. I am very optimistic about my dream because I also have another big dream, which is to help educate the people of Indonesia so that there is no educational inequality. I have made this big dream since I was in high school and I will pursue these two things as much as I can.

Today, people can work and live anywhere they want, because of the improvement of communication technology and transport. Do advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Social media has replaced the traditional method of communicating and people use more and more of social media to communicate and follow news and events. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time jobs while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teenagers working outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

essay on the tiger and how is it used for and how now days people used it

Do you think the government is right to stop people using mobile phones while driving?

Many goverments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country Discuss both views and give your own opinion.