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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some developed countries now have unemployment problems.  Why do people still want to emigrate to these countries? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

#countries #unemployment #people
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Some
people
 in developed
countries
 are getting unemployed
while
people
 from other
countries
 are still looking forward to their immigration. There might be two main reasons why they want to escape from their home. Parents always have aspirations for their children to accept the best education. In some
countries
, the education systems are not complete enough. Students might have to major in the subjects they are not interested in rather than the subjects they like.
It
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 is
due to
 the lack of resources for colleges to establish the departments.
Therefore
, families emigrate to developed
countries
 to ensure their kids receive better schooling and have more choices and opportunities when they grow up. When a country is no longer safe for its residents, the willingness of
people
 to emigrate will increase, too.
For example
, Hong Kong has gone through a political movement in recent years. Some protesters were put into prison without any exact reason. And their relatives and friends have no choice but to leave their nation for personal safety. In conclusion,
people
 still want to emigrate to some developed
countries
 even though they might endure unemployment problems. It is the educational circumstances or political situation that makes
people
 want to look for a better future and freedom. And these are the reasons why unemployment is not an obstacle to them.
Submitted by emily870828 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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