IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the total numbers of minutes (in billion) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories from 1995 to 2002.

The bar chart below shows the total numbers of minutes (in billion) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories from 1995 to 2002.
#bar #numbers #minutes #billion #telephone #uk #three #categories
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The bar chart illustrates the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 people
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on telephone calls in the UK, over a period of 7 years, between 1995 to 2002. These calls
Add a missing verb
are separeted
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separeted
Correct your spelling
separated
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 3 sections. From a cursory glance, it is readily apparent that local calls on fixed lines were very popular and people spent many
minutes
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 period.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 mobile calls had the lowest ratio.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there was a significant rise
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
minutes
Use synonyms
 between 1995 and 1999 for local calls. It was over 70
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
minutes
Use synonyms
at
Change the preposition
in
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 the beginning,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 it reached 90
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the total number of
minutes
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased until 2002 and stopped at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
70
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
minutes
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
minutes
Use synonyms
 for national and international calls on fixed
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 had increased gradually from nearly 40
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 to 60
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
minutes
Use synonyms
. At the same
time
Use synonyms
, people who lived in the UK used
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 amount of
time
Use synonyms
 to make mobile calls.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the proportion had
grew
Change the verb form
grown
show examples
 rapidly and became almost 448
Use synonyms
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
minutes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sezencizmecigil on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, minutes, billions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommunications
  • fixed line
  • mobile
  • local calls
  • national calls
  • international calls
  • trend
  • billion
  • minutes
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • plummet
  • outpace
  • transition
  • technology advancement
  • consumer behavior
  • market saturation
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