IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summaries #features #comparisons
The bar charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the average number of weekly
income
 spent in two particular
years
 1968 and 2018 in one nation.
Overall
,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of salary spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food, fuel and power, clothing and footwear,
personal
Correct word choice
and personal
show examples
goods
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 high in 1968
whereas
 housing, transport and leisure were most in 2018. But the fraction of weekly
income
 spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 household
goods
 was equal in both
years
. In 1968, 35% of weekly
income
 spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food by families but in 2018 it decreased by half percent
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 in clothing and footwear
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2018 spending money was dropped by half
proportion
Correct article usage
a proportion
show examples
. approximately 6% of weekly salary
used
Add a missing verb
was used
show examples
 in fuel and power in 1968 and it fell by around 2% in 2018. In personal
goods
Add a comma
,goods
show examples
 families spent 8% in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 year and it declined by 4% in other
years
. In terms of
housing
Add a comma
,housing
show examples
 members used
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 percentages of money in
1968than
Correct your spelling
1968 than
2018
Change preposition
in 2018
show examples
. They spent 10%
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 first
Rephrase
apply
show examples
then
,
thetlyvstarted
Correct your spelling
then started
used
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 29% of
income
Correct pronoun usage
their income
show examples
 later. around 8% and 14%
income
 in transport in 1968 and 2018 respectively. They used 9% in leisure in 1968 and 22% in 2018.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of household
goods
 families spent 8% of
money
Correct pronoun usage
their money
show examples
 in both
years
.
Submitted by pooja.rijal11 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, years, goods with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • income
  • consumer habits
  • percentage
  • cost of living
  • discretionary spending
  • inflation-adjusted
  • financial priorities
  • budget allocation
  • socioeconomic changes
  • technological advancements
  • housing and utilities
  • goods and services
  • gain insight into
  • luxuries vs. necessities
  • trend analysis
  • significant increase/decrease
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