Violence and crime have increased in most major cities of the world. Some people say this is because children now play violent video games online. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#violence #crime #cities #world #people #children #video #games

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Nowadays, most major cities around the globe suffer from

the

Correct article usage

apply

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increasing violence and crime rates.

While

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some people indicate that the prevalence of violent

video

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games

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leads to

children

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's violent tendencies. I believe there is no direct link between both of them. On the one hand, some people blame

children

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for having violent tendencies because they are addicted to

video

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games

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. And those violent

children

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would become criminals in the future.

However

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children

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who show aggressive personalities likely suffer from difficulties in regulating their emotions. There are several possible reasons.

Firstly

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, their parent might not spend enough time to accompany their

children

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. Some lonely

children

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will use improper methods to gain their parent’s attention. Adults should teach the younger generation how to ease their anxiety and regulate their motions

instead

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of simply criticizing their behaviour.

On the other hand

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, violent

video

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games

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have several prospects. I believe it is a blessing rather than a curse. In most violent online

video

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games

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, violence is not their majority element. If

video

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games

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merely involve violent fights, there

are

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no impossibility for them to become so popular. There might be exciting adventures and fascinating

storyline

Fix the agreement mistake

storylines

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in it. Most online

video

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games

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are equipped with chatting functions, and some

children

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meet online friends and establish their friendships through playing the

games

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. They play different characters in the fight and learn how to cooperate through the numerous adventures.

However

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, if

children

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show an addition to

video

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games

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, parents should teach them time management

instead

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of forcing them to leave their computers.

Children

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who grow up with good parenting would not lead to violent personalities even if they enjoy playing

video

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games

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To sum up

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, everything has two sides and violent

video

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games

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are no exception. Spending too much time on them could cause negative development but there are still advantages involved. And there is no direct link between the increasing crime rates and the popularity of violent

video

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games

Use synonyms

Submitted by BeckyJ on Sun Aug 27 2023

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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Violence and crime have increased in most major cities of the world. Some people say this is because children now play violent video games online. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste

completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

You share a parking area with several neighbours and have recently started having problems. Write a letter to be copied to all neighbours that share the parking area. In that letter • explaining the problems • suggesting ways to help the situation • proposing a possible meeting

Some people believe that the government should support the funds for the arts, while some other people suggest that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.