Violence and crime have increased in most major cities of the world. Some people say this is because children now play violent video games online. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#violence #crime #cities #world #people #children #video #games

Nowadays, most major cities around the globe suffer from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

increasing violence and crime rates.

While

some people indicate that the prevalence of violent

video

games

leads to

children

's violent tendencies. I believe there is no direct link between both of them. On the one hand, some people blame

children

for having violent tendencies because they are addicted to

video

games

. And those violent

children

would become criminals in the future.

However

children

who show aggressive personalities likely suffer from difficulties in regulating their emotions. There are several possible reasons.

Firstly

, their parent might not spend enough time to accompany their

children

. Some lonely

children

will use improper methods to gain their parent’s attention. Adults should teach the younger generation how to ease their anxiety and regulate their motions

instead

of simply criticizing their behaviour.

On the other hand

, violent

video

games

have several prospects. I believe it is a blessing rather than a curse. In most violent online

video

games

, violence is not their majority element. If

video

games

merely involve violent fights, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

no impossibility for them to become so popular. There might be exciting adventures and fascinating

storyline

Fix the agreement mistake

storylines

show examples

in it. Most online

video

games

are equipped with chatting functions, and some

children

meet online friends and establish their friendships through playing the

games

. They play different characters in the fight and learn how to cooperate through the numerous adventures.

However

, if

children

show an addition to

video

games

, parents should teach them time management

instead

of forcing them to leave their computers.

Children

who grow up with good parenting would not lead to violent personalities even if they enjoy playing

video

games

To sum up

, everything has two sides and violent

video

games

are no exception. Spending too much time on them could cause negative development but there are still advantages involved. And there is no direct link between the increasing crime rates and the popularity of violent

video

games

Submitted by BeckyJ on Sun Aug 27 2023

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Violence and crime have increased in most major cities of the world. Some people say this is because children now play violent video games online. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

These days the majority of employers require good social skills. While these social skills could improve employee management and bring effective networking, these could social skills could not determine exact qualification and abilities. What extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

The plans below show a traditional and modern two-storey Japanese house. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

Please outline your plans and strategies for actively participating in local and international communities throughout the IISMA program, and provide some concrete examples.