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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below show the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country

The graph below show the proportion of four different materials that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country
#show #proportion #four #materials #country
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The given graph illustrates
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about recycling four
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
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 of material between 1982 and 2010 in
specfic
Correct your spelling
specific
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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. The unit is
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
the percentage
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the recycling
rate
Use synonyms
 of Aluminium cans and Plastics saw
a n
Correct your spelling
an
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 upward trend,
while
Linking Words
 Paper and cardboard, Glass containers saw a decrease.
Aditionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, despite seeing a decrease, Paper and cardboard still showed the highest
rate
Use synonyms
 than any other materials through the time frame. Looking at the
rate
Use synonyms
 of Paper and cardboard, it increased unsteadily from 65% in 1982
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 to exactly 80% in 1990, but
then
Linking Words
 decreased substantially down to 70% in 2010.
Additonally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, Glas containers
also
Linking Words
 saw a sizeable decrease, from 50% in 1982, down to 40%
on
Change preposition
in
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 1990, before increased
moderatly
Correct your spelling
moderately
 to 60% in 2010. Moving on to the recycling
rate
Use synonyms
 of Aluminium cans, began
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 nearly 5% in 1986,
then
Linking Words
icreased
Correct your spelling
increased
 dramatically,
reached
Correct word choice
and reached
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to
Change preposition
apply
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it
Change the pronoun
its
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 peak,
45
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of 45
show examples
% in 2010.
While
Linking Words
 Aluminium cans had a lightning speed, Plastics
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 more steady,
began
Wrong verb form
beginning
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with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 approximately 3%, it gradually increased to about 8% in 2010.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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