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Band 5

some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.Others,however, argue that the circumstances of individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, it should always be taken into account when deciding on the guiltiness

#people #punishments #type #crime #circumstances #motivation #account #guiltiness
Some
people
 think that every malefaction has an unchanging penalty.
Rest
Correct article usage
The rest
show examples
 of the
people
,
however
,discuss that the situations of a
personel
Correct your spelling
personal
crime
, and the incentive for perpetrating it, should always
consider
Wrong verb form
be considered
show examples
 when making a decision about the punishment.It is true that someone who
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
 a
crime
 must be judged but it should be fair. I am sure that the
people
 who
defense
Replace the word
defend
show examples
 fixed punishments,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
miss the aim of
Correct article usage
the judgement
show examples
judgement
Correct your spelling
judgment
show examples
 system.Because every person might make a mistake and
then
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
regret
Correct pronoun usage
itregret
show examples
. So we should bring back them to
comminity
Correct your spelling
community
.
For example
, a thief and a killer must not be in the same category because one of them can fix her/his fault but
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 one can not.
In stead
Correct your spelling
Instead
show examples
 of
fixed
Correct article usage
a fixed
show examples
 penalty, convicted
people
 with an unimportant
crime
 can do unpaid service under the control of an observer so that , they do not feel like a prisoner and understand
awareness
Correct article usage
the awareness
show examples
 of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the other part persons who approach the circumstances intensively like me believe that everybody
deserve
Change the verb form
deserves
show examples
 a second chance in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life .Because
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 learn the corrects via experiences.
For instance
, in a prison in Finland, the government set up a regulation about gaining prisoners again. The management of Finland send them to an island
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 has different facilities
such
 as
library
Add an article
a library
the library
show examples
,pool,sport centers
etc
Correct your spelling
etc.
... And for a
while
 , they
left
Verb problem
live
show examples
 there. 70% of them did not perpetrate the same
crime
.
To sum up
, every condition is specific like every person we should
be taken
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
into
Correct pronoun usage
it into
show examples
 account when deciding on the guiltiness.
Submitted by onder113 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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