Some people think competitive sports have positive affects on the education of teenagers while others argue that the effects are negative. Discuss both views and give your opinio.
In
this
competitive era, it is true that everyone wants to achieve a good status in society against other people who are living in the same community. It is the debatable notion that a few individuals opine that competitive sports have a good impact on the academics of youngsters, but others think that it has a negative effect on them. In this
essay, I will discuss both views in detail and provide my supporting examples to prove the former statement takes precedence.
On the one hand, in today's time, children try to spend more time on games rather than studying on a regular basis. To explain further
, many of the students are engaged in competitions to beat their rivals in the team and forget about their academics and sometimes it leads to failure in education. For example
, in 2017, a survey was conducted in the United Kingdom about the literacy rate in comparison with sports statistics. It is unbelievable that the literacy rate is just about 48% as compared to the number of participants of the team players in the playground. Hence
, it will lead to a greater number of illiterate scholars in the country.
In contrast
, nowadays, the level of competition is becoming high and both parents and teachers encourage their children to take part in some beating games on the ground. Through this
, they can learn how to compete in some difficult situations in the future. For instance
, an article written by Dr. Schols in the Times New Roman magazine in 2019, was about the famous cricketer Mr. Harbajan Singh Bhajji and explains how competitive skills help him to build a better future. Harbhajan Singh did not complete his education. He is just a merit pass student because he started his career at an early age by playing cricket on a worldwide basis and now he is one of the richest people in his native nation. Therefore
, academics are not only an important part for the students but also
need to consider some play that would proceed them towards the better upcoming years of their lives.
In conclusion, although
some people argue that competitive sport is not considered while
students are still studying in school, in my opinion, it is important to give equal time for both sports and education, so that teenagers can not be ruined by any one of them.Submitted by kamalveerkaur26 on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks clarity and fails to clearly outline the discussion to be covered. Ensure the introduction clearly introduces the topic and the stance taken. The conclusion also needs to be more conclusive, summarizing the key points and reiterating the opinion.
task achievement
The response attempts to address the prompt by discussing both views. However, the response lacks depth and fails to provide a comprehensive analysis of both perspectives. Ensure a more balanced and thorough discussion of both views is presented.
task achievement
There is an attempt to provide supporting examples, but they lack clarity and coherence. Ensure that the examples are relevant, specific, and effectively support the arguments presented.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.