IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that the best way to improve road transport safe is to let the driver test each year. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #road #transport #driver #test #year
Safety of the road transportation concerns everyone. Lots of individuals believe that to make it safer vehicle owners should pass the driver exam yearly. I completely disagree with
this
 statement, and, in
this
 essay, I am planning to clarify my point of view.
First,
I think that the authorities should carefully and responsibly take care of managing the process of issuance of driver's licenses. I am convinced that licenses should be in several types or levels.
As a result
, to get the final permission to drive a vehicle drivers ought to pass several times exams to reach the next level of permission. In
this
 scenario, I am highly assured that after getting their final and permanent license drivers will become more competent and experienced,
hence
 they will feel more confident on the roads, and
consequently
, will be able to avoid accidents. That means safety on the roads.
For example
, my sister lives in Australia and I can remember that it took her several years to get her driver's permission. In the very beginning when she started to learn driving she was frightened to take it with her children. Now she is definitely an accurate and "true" chauffeur.
Secondly
, in my opinion, if a person has already passed his exam and got the right to drive a car, it is needless to repass it every year, maybe once in a few years but not every year. In conclusion, I would like
to sum up
 my above-explained thought that it's better to learn longer to get final licenses, and I am quite sure that it will result in fewer accidents on the roads, and,
as a consequence
, we all will feel safer in transport.
Submitted by karine.s.kirakosyan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
The essay has some relevant points but lacks focus and structure. Ensure that the essay addresses all parts of the task with clear position and supporting points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are underdeveloped. Work on providing a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points of the essay.
Lexical Resource
The essay includes a mix of vocabulary, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and imprecise language. Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to enhance coherence.
Grammatical Range
The essay shows a basic control of a variety of structures but also has punctuation errors and awkward sentence constructions. Review sentence structures, punctuation, and aim for more complexity in grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: