Some people say that the purpose of education for individuals is to be useful to the society while other argue that the purpose is to fulfill personal ambitious of an individual would discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #purpose #education #individuals #society

In recent years, the percentage of people working online has skyrocketed

due to

the development of communication and transport services and with

this

increase came drastic changes to our concepts of modern job industries.

This

trend of

ever-growing

Add an article

an ever-growing

the ever-growing

show examples

amount of online employees is now tangible in most parts of our world and it affects

life

Add an article

the life

show examples

of millions of people in many ways, both positively and harmfully. There are many obvious positive traits of online working.

Firstly

, there is an increase in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

number of spare hours that can be dedicated to developing oneself,

relieve

Wrong verb form

relieving

show examples

stress and

achieve

Wrong verb form

achieving

show examples

better focus. All

this

spare time

also

diminishes the exhaustion one feels after they call it a day. An online job

also

has

Correct article usage

the

show examples

potential for improving different computer skills, which in turn leads to better speed and efficiency.

However

, having an online job brings about a set of downsides that might potentially outweigh its advantages and disrupt one’s career.

To begin

with, lots of employees fail to suppress their urge to use common sources of distraction,

for example

, phones, whilst being at their workplace.

In contrast

, most office companies try to establish a healthy atmosphere for focusing on the task and encourage effort and involvement. As the study of K.E. service shows, an average person can accomplish 40

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

less when switching his workplace from

office

Correct article usage

an office

show examples

to a different location.

Furthermore

, it is proven by many scientific organizations that office workers are better networking agents and typically have more friends and trusted people. Because of

this

, they are less likely to suffer from various mental disorders which might be a greater problem for those working online.

To conclude

, it is largely unclear whether working online is better for making a career as it has a wide range of both pros and cons. Time and competition between the off- and online employment models will serve as a testament to

effectiveness

Add an article

the effectiveness

show examples

of the latter and expose all its details, giving us a better understanding of the future working methods.

Submitted by dulskywork on Mon Aug 28 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

335 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that the purpose of education for individuals is to be useful to the society while other argue that the purpose is to fulfill personal ambitious of an individual would discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Obesity is an ever-growing pandemic that is affecting more and more of the world’s population. The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth of overweight people in society? How can this issue be resolved?

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the media have to right to publish detail of people’s view, while other thinks it should be controlled. Discuss both views.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second-hand clothing amongst the younger generation. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?