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Writing Samples
Band 7

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problem in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

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In the modern world, World Wide Web online
services
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 have brought many advancements in different areas of work. Most of the sectors have benefitted and made tremendous progress after their online associations.
However
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, it is argued that the
internet
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 has
also
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 resulted in a critical security breach and is unsafe for society. I do partially agree with the given statement and will discuss my opinion with supportive points in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, it would be right to mention that the
internet
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 has made a global world by bringing
people
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 close together. It has changed societies and workplaces significantly.
For instance
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, educational institutes doing distance education via online classes, international brands and businesses are going to different continents and making money, and even media entertainment and art sectors are getting attention easily from all around the places.
Nevertheless
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, among multiple positive developments after wifi and other
internet
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services
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, there are some concerns regarding the safety of information and the mishandling of that data.
People
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 with criminal mindsets give rise to cyber crimes for which to date there are no definite punishment laws in many countries.
Such
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people
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 hack pieces of information and conduct crimes with ease even when there is a considerable security system.
Such
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 criminals can even trace bank accounts and other personal data as
people
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 post their information on sites like Facebook and Instagram etc.
Moreover
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, young children get into the trap of criminals as it is very easy to make fake accounts and identities online.
Finally
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, in my opinion, web
services
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 are one the greatest scientific inventions but have some drawbacks. The government of a country is required to make policies to make secure usage of
internet
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services
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.

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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed. Include a clear position in the introduction and a balanced discussion in the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring the essay with clear topic sentences for each body paragraph. Use transition words to improve the flow of ideas and connect different parts of the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied words and phrases. Aim for greater accuracy and range in your word choice.
grammatical range
Work on using a wider range of sentence structures and grammatical forms. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence complexity.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
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