IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts provide information about rates of electricity consumption by raw materials in Australia and France between 1980 and 2000.

The pie charts provide information about rates of electricity consumption by raw materials in Australia and France between 1980 and 2000.
#information #rates #electricity #consumption #materials #australia #france
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts provide information about rates of
electricity
Use synonyms
 consumption by raw materials in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 between 1980 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 coal was the dominant fuel for
electricity
Use synonyms
 production in
Australia
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 coal and nuclear
power
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
significantly
Change the word
significant
show examples
 in
France
Use synonyms
 over twenty years. In 1980 coal constituted the largest share of
electricity
Use synonyms
 production in
Australia
Use synonyms
, but in
these
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 year same of units twenty five of natural gas
has been
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 wasted.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
similar
Change the article
a similar
the similar
show examples
 number of
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
power
Use synonyms
 and natural gas were wasted. Specifically, in
France
Use synonyms
hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
power
Use synonyms
 sharply decreased to fifteen
than
Change preposition
in
show examples
previous
Change the article
the previous
show examples
 country. In 2000, the majority unit
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 coal, the minority quantity
belong
Wrong verb form
belonged
show examples
 to
combine
Replace the word
combined
show examples
 fuels.
Although
Linking Words
, the most
influenced
Replace the word
influential
show examples
 fuel was nuclear
power
Use synonyms
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
mixed fuel has the same amount
two
Change preposition
of two
show examples
. In conclusion, the tables present a clear picture of the changing landscape of
electricity
Use synonyms
 production by
fuels
Change the noun form
fuel
show examples
 sources in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 from 1980 to 2000.
While
Linking Words
 coal remained an important contributor in both nations, the most striking trend was the substantial rise in nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 generation in
France
Use synonyms
 during
this
Linking Words
 period.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, australia, france, power with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provide" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie charts
  • electricity consumption rates
  • raw materials
  • comparison
  • changes
  • overall trends
  • differences
  • Australia
  • France
  • 1980
  • 2000
  • information
  • rates
  • consumption
  • provides
  • between
What to do next:
Look at other essays: