IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some countries, small town-center shops are going out of business because people tend to drive to large out-of-town stores. As a result, people without cars have limited access to out-of town stores, and it may result in an increase in the use of cars. Do you think the disadvantages of this change outweigh its advantages?

#countries #town-center #shops #business #people #drive #stores #cars #access #out-of #town #change
Nowadays in some countries, small-scale
shops
 in the
centre
 of
cities
due to
 the lack of clients are going to be closed.
While
 I understand the advantages of
this
 trend, I believe that the disadvantages of
this
 issue outweigh its progress.
Due to
 the price of houses in the
centre
 and downtown of
cities
 around the world, most
people
 are going to rent or buy houses in the suburbs which are fairly cheap.
As a result
, there is a huge need for stores in the suburbs of
cities
 and large
shops
 can answer
this
 demand with suitable prices.
Also
, another benefit of large-scale
shops
 like malls is that they have almost anything in their store and provide a wide range of variety for customers.
For example
, it is common to hear that something is unavailable in the town
centre
shops
 and they address customers to the out-of-town
shops
.
On the other hand
, there are two main reasons why I disapproved the transfer of stores to the out of towns.
Firstly
, as mentioned above
this
 trend causes
people
 who live in the
centre
 of
cities
, to spend a lot of time in their cars to reach the out-of-town stores.
This
 can disturb the flow of cars and probably create heavy traffic in that specific region.
Secondly
, if all the
people
 of a city have to visit
shops
 outside the city for shopping,
Shops
 outside the city get into trouble. They can not provide services to all of the
people
, so it is necessary to build other malls and parking there, which need a lot of money and gradually it causes the advantage of the cheapness of goods to disappear.
To sum up
, in my ,opinion
although
 there are some benefits to
people
 using big
shops
, it is obvious that their disadvantages are overcome to advantages.
Submitted by sajjad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: