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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In
this
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 day and age with concurrent technologies, adverts are accompanied by a cyber link. Society can see advertisements everywhere. And loads of them are trying to deliver the messages that they are the latest. There are several reasons why they want to tell people that they are new.
Moreover
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, I think that the cons might be more than pons.
Firstly
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, since those new inventions claim that they are the first in their fields, others cannot mimic or even use them.
For example
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, when the Apple company clarified that Apple is its product’s logo, nobody could utilize it anymore. Another reason why businesses emphasise the aforesaid is that the folk may want to try their creativity. Research has found that the folk tend to buy novelty things or something they have never touched before.
Additionally
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, those marketing planners may exercise these selling methods to achieve their goals and increase sales.
However
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, too many adverts saying they are the newest might bring some negative impactions.
First,
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since they are expanding their fames, they definitely exhibit a lot in various ways
such
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 as on the net platforms or on the buses. Originally, society may still watch these videos or ads. When time passes by, society may become annoyed or bothered and eventually may not want to see or even ignore them. What’s more, the public may not want to be the first user. In nowadays’ world, there is an army of reviews or recommendations on the internet. Before those consumers buy, they obviously search for them.
As a result
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, the following may lessen the selling numbers.
To conclude
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, I consider that the sunny sides are more than the dark sides in emphasizing they are renovating. Yet, it
also
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 has its downsides
in particular
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 situations.

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence and cohesion as the logical structure of the essay is underdeveloped. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and effectiveness. The main points are not well-supported and the examples provided are not always relevant to the argument.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task by discussing the reasons why businesses emphasize that their products are new and presenting some positive and negative aspects. However, the response lacks depth and clarity, and the arguments presented are not well-organized or fully developed.
lexical resource
The lexical resource is limited, and the vocabulary is often imprecise or inappropriate. The use of language and expressions does not effectively convey the intended meaning and leads to confusion.
grammatical range
The grammatical range is limited, with frequent errors in sentence structure, tense usage, and word forms. The lack of variety and accuracy in grammar hinders the clarity and coherence of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovation
  • Fast-paced
  • Distinguishing
  • Psychological aspect
  • Inherently
  • Perceived
  • Continuous improvement
  • Revolutionary
  • Feasible
  • Throwaway culture
  • Undervalue
  • Longevity
  • Obscure
  • Novelty
  • Unsatisfactory
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