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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #aim #sales #products
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Many people think that the main purpose of advertisement is to push the sale of items that
consumers
 do not have a demand for. Despite the potential downside of commercials, I strongly disagree with the statement given believing that product marketing has many other important roles nowadays. From my point of view,
instead
 of merely trying to lure people into buying unnecessary items, advertising plays an essential part in introducing new
products
 to the market and capturing the customer’s demands.
Firstly
, marketing will help raise awareness for new product launches, by getting potential customers exposed to the
products
 continually.
Then
, when the shoppers see these items in stores, they will have the intention to pick them for trial, which will bring new sources of revenue for companies.
Secondly
, advertising will help the company create demands which link to the shopper’s concerns. The marketing department will do the research to define the latest trends or the needs of
consumers
 to create suitable content and attract them to the firm’s
products
.
For example
, back in the day, many people were scared of the chemicals in fabric conditioner
products
 that may harm their children’s skin. To capture these conscious
consumers
, Unilever company advertised a sensitive product called Comfort for sensitive skin-friendly babies that was approved by Pasteur’s quality test. Thanks to advertising,
consumers
 can easily approach quality
products
 that truly meet their needs and wants. In conclusion, advertising is an effective tool not only for companies to bring more sales and create demands but
also
 allows
consumers
 to buy good
products
 that are suitable for their needs.
Submitted by trungkien.ktdn.nt on

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task response
Ensure that the essay clearly addresses all parts of the task, presents a clear position, and supports the opinion with relevant examples and details.
coherence cohesion
There is a good overall structure, but some paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and may benefit from better transitions to improve coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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