IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#animals #verge #extinction #list
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A growing number of
animals
Use synonyms
 are close to disappearing forever,
while
Linking Words
 other species are on the endangered list. The main reason for
this
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 is that a lot of
poachers
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 doing illegal trade and protecting areas is a viable solution. The major cause is that
,
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apply
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some individuals accurately
poachers
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 doing illegal business ,
therefore
Linking Words
, they have been hunted to the
animals
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 and it
leaded
Correct your spelling
led
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 to extinction.
Poachers
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 have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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earned a lot of money from hunting
animals
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,
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moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
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 they
selling
Wrong verb form
sell
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 expensive parts of
animals
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,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 fur and skin.
Therefore
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, they use
Linking Words
this materials
Change the determiner
this material
these materials
show examples
 for clothes and
selling
Wrong verb form
sell
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 them for
the
Correct article usage
a
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hight
Correct your spelling
high
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 price.
This
Linking Words
 is because
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
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do not do nothing
Rewrite the sentence
do not do anything
do nothing
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 to protect
animals
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 from
poachers
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 ,
however
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,
poachers
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harming
Wrong verb form
harm
show examples
 not only
for
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apply
show examples
animals
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,
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apply
show examples
 but for environment too. A primary example of
this
Linking Words
 after catching of
animals
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poachers
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 leave the trash and impact to the extinction. The most practical solution to
this
Linking Words
 is that, to protect locations where
animals
Use synonyms
 still living. Government should fund into
sphere
Add an article
the sphere
show examples
 of
animals
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 and build areas which might be useful for
animals
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,
moreover
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,
authority
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the authority
show examples
 should use
modern-technology
Correct your spelling
modern technology
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,
such
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 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 cameras,
monitor
Correct word choice
and monitor
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 tracking which
migh
Correct your spelling
might
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
identify illegal activities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they should involve local communities by providing benefits for
protection
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the protection
show examples
 of
wild-life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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,
moreover
Linking Words
, teachers in school should recall about importance of
wild-life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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 and
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 impacts of poaching and how it can
be affected
Wrong verb form
affect
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to
Change preposition
apply
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the economy.
For instance
Linking Words
, if people do not take action ,
poachers
Use synonyms
 can reduce
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 population of rare
animals
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, which can result in global issues. In conclusion, to prevent
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
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 of
animals
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 people
also
Linking Words
 government should not give
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
poachers
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, they need to convict
poachers
Use synonyms
 who break the rules of authority.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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