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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.

The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.
#quantities #goods #uk #four #modes #transport
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The line graph illustrates the usage of fish,
lamb
Use synonyms
,
beef
Use synonyms
 and
chicken
Use synonyms
 in European countries from 1974 to 2004. The units are measured in grams per person per week.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the consumption of
beef
Use synonyms
 was the highest used
meat
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 before
chicken
Use synonyms
 replaced it from 1994 to 2004. The figure for
lamb
Use synonyms
 was the lowest consumed
meat
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chicken
Use synonyms
 was the largest used
meat
Use synonyms
 over the
period
Use synonyms
 in question.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 there was a significant increase in the usage of
beef
Use synonyms
 and
chicken
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the figures for
beef
Use synonyms
, fish and
lamb
Use synonyms
 decreased gradually. At the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
, the amount of used
beef
Use synonyms
 was over 200 in 1979 before decreasing to 160 in 1984 and
levelleding
Correct your spelling
levelling
 out during the next 5 years.
However
Linking Words
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the figure for
beef
Use synonyms
 dropped moderately from 160 to over 100 from 1984 to
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2007. With regards to the usage of
chicken
Use synonyms
, it went up remarkably from 140 to 250
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1979
2007
Change preposition
to 2007
show examples
 and was the largest used
meat
Use synonyms
 in the final years. The consumption of
lamb
Use synonyms
 went down progressively from 150 to 70 over the
period
Use synonyms
 in question.
while
Linking Words
 the amount of used fish eaten fell marginally from 60 to 50 between 1974 and 1984 , before holding steadily during the next 10 years and was the lowest used food over the
period
Use synonyms
 in question.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words lamb, beef, chicken, meat, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Transported goods
  • Quantities
  • Trends
  • Modes of transport
  • Rail
  • Road
  • Water
  • Pipeline
  • Fluctuations
  • Predominance
  • Economic influences
  • Societal changes
  • Technological advancements
  • Environmental impact
  • Growth
  • Steady increase/decrease
  • Comparison
  • Period (e.g., decade, years)
  • Examination
  • Implications
  • Analysis
  • Conclusion
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