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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

the graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
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The chart compares four Asian countries in terms of the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of people who live in cities from 1970 to 2020 and predictions of it for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
four countries have a growth in the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the population living in cities in the past 50 years and the
percentage
Use synonyms
 will go on increasing till 2040. Looking at the details, in 1970, there were about 30 percent of people living in urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 in Malaysia,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 had a a larger
proportion
Use synonyms
 of 32%. There were only 18%
citizens
Change preposition
of citizens
show examples
 in Thailand and 14% in Indonesia in 1970. After exceeding the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of population in
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 in 1980 and falling back to the second rank in 1990, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 in Malaysia grew significantly to be top-ranked and will become 85% in 2040. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
, began to fall in 2000. After a reverse when it dropped
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 40% in 2010, it continued rising and is predicted to be 50% in 2040.
Although
Linking Words
 Indonesia took the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 in 1970, it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased significantly in the following 50 years. It exceeded Thailand and
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 in 2000 and 2010 separately, predicted to reach a new top in2040,which is 63% . There was a
fluctuate
Replace the word
fluctuation
show examples
 in the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of citizens in Thailand between 1990 and 2020. It was 30% and in 2040 it
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to rise to 48%.
Submitted by huangzijun2293 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, percentage, philippines with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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