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Band 5

The diagram illustrates the process of production sugar in a specific plant (sugar cane). Overall, sugar cane can be used to produce sugar in seven different process, starts from growing and ends by drying and cooling process which becomes sugar.

The diagram illustrates the process of production sugar in a specific plant (sugar cane). Overall, sugar cane can be used to produce sugar in seven different process, starts from growing and ends by drying and cooling process which becomes sugar.
The diagram illustrates the
process
Use synonyms
 of production
Use synonyms
sugar
Change preposition
of sugar
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 in a specific plant (
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane).
Overall
Linking Words
,
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane can be used to produce
sugar
Use synonyms
 in seven different
Use synonyms
process
Change to a plural noun
processes
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,
starts
Wrong verb form
starting
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from
Change preposition
with
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 growing and
ends
Wrong verb form
ending
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by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 drying and cooling
process
Use synonyms
 which becomes
sugar
Use synonyms
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the first step, the plant should grow
12
Change preposition
for 12
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 to 18 months,
then
Linking Words
 it will be harvested.
Harvesting
Add an article
The harvesting
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process
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 can be done either manually or by using
specific
Add an article
the specific
a specific
show examples
 machine.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 step, will be cutting down and crashing to make juice.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the juice should be purified by applying
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
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 filter which is called
Limestone
Correct article usage
a Limestone
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 filter. The purified juice needs to enter a new
process
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 which is known as evaporation. In the evaporation
process
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, it heats until becomes a syrup.
Further
Linking Words
, it should be centrifuged in order to separate
sugar
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 crystals from the liquid through a
process
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 called centrifugation
process
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, it
sugar
Use synonyms
cristals
Correct your spelling
crystals
 should dry and cool to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
 through a specific machine.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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