The map below shows 2 possible sites (S1 and S2) of a new supermarket planned for the town of GARLSDON.

The map below illustrates two different places in order to construct a new supermarket in Garlsdon city.

It is clear that

both sites are located in an industrial area and close to the railway and main roads with a 65000 population but, S1 is in the countryside and S2 is in the middle of the city.

First,

S1 is located in the northwest of Garlsdon which is close to Hindon with 12 km and situated in the countryside.

Also

, there are railways and main roads in order to transport which makes convenient conditions for residents.

In addition

, it is a good situation for people that live in Hindon and Brandson in order to use

this

supermarket.

Second,

S2 which is located in the centre of the town and close to Crandson with 25 km.

Therefore

this

place is an industrial and residential area which makes comfortable place for people who are living there.

Also

, there is a big railway to communicate with other places

such

as S1, Hndon and Brandson.

Submitted by www.marzieh.eidi on Mon Aug 28 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

170 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The map below shows 2 possible sites (S1 and S2) of a new supermarket planned for the town of GARLSDON.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You recently travelled with a certain airline. Write a letter to the manager about your experience. Please say – Where and when did you travel? – What did you like or dislike? – What can you suggest for improvement?

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some societies, more and more people are choosing to live on their own? What are the reasons people choose to do this? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Many people work long hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?