The map below shows 2 possible sites (S1 and S2) of a new supermarket planned for the town of GARLSDON.

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The map below illustrates two different places in order to construct a new supermarket in Garlsdon city.

It is clear that

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both sites are located in an industrial area and close to the railway and main roads with a 65000 population but, S1 is in the countryside and S2 is in the middle of the city.

First,

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S1 is located in the northwest of Garlsdon which is close to Hindon with 12 km and situated in the countryside.

Also

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, there are railways and main roads in order to transport which makes convenient conditions for residents.

In addition

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, it is a good situation for people that live in Hindon and Brandson in order to use

this

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supermarket.

Second,

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S2 which is located in the centre of the town and close to Crandson with 25 km.

Therefore

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this

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place is an industrial and residential area which makes comfortable place for people who are living there.

Also

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, there is a big railway to communicate with other places

such

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as S1, Hndon and Brandson.

Submitted by www.marzieh.eidi on Mon Aug 28 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

170 words

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The map below shows 2 possible sites (S1 and S2) of a new supermarket planned for the town of GARLSDON.

Nowadays traffic congestion is a major issue.What do you think of this problem and what measures can be taken?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learining a foriegn language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that a person should change a career at least once, while others think that it is better to stay in one job for a lifetime. What is your opinion?

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Educating young people is naturally important, However, some think governments ought to invest more in education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?