IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not?

#people #close #relationship #pets #birds #cats #animals #members #relationships
It has long been a common belief that clogs have a better companionship than
cats
while
 others disagree and think that
cats
 can do a better
jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
job
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 the writer's
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
,
cats
 are quiet so it is suitable for
Add an article
a worker
the worker
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 who
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 a
soff
Correct your spelling
soft
 friend
at the end
 of the
day
. One of the core reasons why
cats
 should be
people
's
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 has been the way in which it is easy
care
Add the particle
to care
show examples
alloras
Change preposition
for alloras
show examples
as well as
 not depend on their
owner
. To put it simply,
people
 who usually travel or go to
work
 for
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
lel
Correct your spelling
all
 cals in their
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 with some
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 and water,
cats
 will be always there, waiting for
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
owner
,
do
Correct word choice
and do
show examples
 not run around or scratch clothes.
In other words
,
cats
 are independent,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can do everything
such
 as go to the toilet or take a
balk
Change the spelling
baulk
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
itselves
Correct your spelling
itself
 without
helpiny
Correct your spelling
helping
, so
people
 would feel relieved if they do not have much time to take care of them.
As a result
,
alsolutely
Correct your spelling
absolutely
people
 who
really
Add a missing verb
are really
show examples
 busy with their
work
, they will choose cals for those reasons.
By contrast
,
dogs
 are the most loyal animal ever so
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
also
 play a key role in some
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 to explain
further
,
dogs
 are almost very angry. and uncomfortable when
stranger
Fix the agreement mistake
strangers
show examples
touched
Wrong verb form
touch
show examples
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 fur, so
people
 usually choose
dogs
. Lm*a_{j} feel as a security for their house.
Furthermore
,
dogs
 will
alway proted
Correct your spelling
always protect
 their.
owner
 when they
met
Wrong verb form
meet
show examples
 any danger by
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 loyalty and duty,
also
this
 is the way
dogs
 do to show
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
grateful
Replace the word
gratitude
show examples
 to the
owner
 who
feed
Change the verb form
feeds
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
day
 by
day
.
Therefore
, choosing
dogs
 to
became
Change the form of the verb
become
show examples
 a pet
as well as
 guarding houses make it became important in some houses.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 the writer's perspective,
cats
 are the best choice for
people
need
Correct pronoun usage
who need
show examples
 to
work
 the whole
day
. To put it plainly, unlike energetic
dogs
, alleats keep their mood by themselves,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 usually play on
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own and
just
Add a missing verb
are just
show examples
 happy.
when
Capitalize word
When
show examples
 it
saw
Wrong verb form
sees
show examples
 the
owner
turn
Verb problem
comes
show examples
 back home
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
cats
 are suitable for workers
work
Correct pronoun usage
who work
show examples
 full
day
 and
at the end
 of the
day
, they want to take a rest and relax, absolutely
cats
Capitalize word
Cats
show examples
 will be their friend, it will
curled
Change the verb form
curl
be curled
show examples
 up in their hands, both of them will feel comfortable and satisfied. As a
consequency
Correct your spelling
consequence
,
cats
 will always have a good
relationstup
Correct your spelling
relationship
 with
people
 because of its
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
. In conclusion, absolutely
dogs
 will protect
the
Change the word
their
show examples
owner
 when they
mel
Correct your spelling
feel
 danger,
however
,
cals
Correct your spelling
cats
 can do a better job
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 easy care
as well as
special
Correct pronoun usage
their special
show examples
 personalities,
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will always remain a good
companion
Fix the agreement mistake
companions
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: