IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that money is the best gift to give youngsters.Others feel that there are better gifts that they can receive. Discuss both views/sides and give your opinion.

#people #money #gift #youngsters #gifts
Proponents think that the currency notes are suitable offerings for children
whereas
 opponents believe we could offer them more effective things available for young people as a present.
However
, gifting some dollars could improve these youngsters' wealth management skills early age.
While
,
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 giving them better stuff as an offering could help in their development. In my view of thinking, we should invest in gifts that could give some learning to kids. On the one hand, many people do not want to waste their time in selecting a gift for pupils or maybe, they get confused
while
 choosing an appropriate thing for the youngsters.
Moreover
, a large part of the community thinks that offering cash to children is worth practising because they will start managing or investing their money at a good stage of their lives.
Furthermore
, these practices will help them make a successful investor in the future. My nephew,
for instance
, had started practicing share market investments at an early age of his life by using his currency savings which were offered to him by relatives and today, he is earning well through his investments in his college days.
On the other hand
, there are some believers who say that mankind is well educated, and they could spend their little time selecting an offering to the students that could be better in terms of their brain and character progression.
Additionally
, parents could remember the name of the person who purchased
such
 a wonderful present for their kids. A gift of a shape sorter cube,
for example
, was given to my son by his uncle, and
this
 has helped him to understand many geometrical figures more easily than the other kids.
To conclude
,
although
 the cash offered to the youngsters could help them in improving their wealth-related skills, providing an actual better thing
instead
 of the currency notes would be an impressive
as well as
 a helpful step for the progress of the child.
Submitted by ravirajole on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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