The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#trips #children #country #travel #school #modes #transport #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The pie chart illustrates how many trips were made by children to get to and from school using different modes of transport in 1990 and 2010. The essay will give an overview, and

then

discuss both years, one after another.

Overall

, the most popular way for children aged from 5 to 12 in 1990 to get to school was by walking,

whereas

in 2010 it was being a car passenger. The least favoured mode of transport in 1990 was a personal vehicle, and in 2010 it was cycling. In 1990, the most liked way to travel to school was walking, totalling up to

12,5

Correct your spelling

12.5

m annual trips, followed by the usage of buses for 7m travels. Cycling and a combination of walking and bus showed really close numbers, 6,1 and 5,9m journeys, respectively. The number of travels by the least popular mode of transportation, which was an automobile, was scarcely 4,3 million. In 2010, the most admired way was being driven by an automobile, making up to 13,2 million tours,

while

the least favourable one only totalled 2 million. The second most favoured mode was walking, with 6m trips, followed by the bus, with 5m, and the compound of bus and walking, with 3m.

Submitted by overchuk.wtp on Tue Aug 29 2023

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words m with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

203 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

trips
children
modes of transport
walk
cycle
public transport
drive
car
trends
decrease
increase
shift
convenient
comfortable
commuting
traffic congestion
safety concerns
significant
indicate
reasons
traffic congestion
safety concerns
20-year period
doubled
considerable margin

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