IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#phone #places
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The
use
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 of mobile
phones
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 is globalised. Some
people
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 believe that cell
phones
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 are as antisocial as smoking.
Therefore
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, it should be banned like smoking. I strongly disagree that using
phones
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 should be banned,
this
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 essay will discuss in detail the reasons why. In the first ,place the
use
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 of mobile
phones
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 can be considered antisocial,
due to
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 the
fact
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 that nowadays, the majority of
people
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 walk by the side road, or inside the mall and are not paying attention to what's in front of them but rather they are looking down on their cellphones sometimes with their headphones over their head too.
Moreover
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, when meeting with family or friends,
people
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 tend to be always looking at their
phones
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 and not focusing on the
people
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 who are talking with them.
On the other hand
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, we can't deny the
fact
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 that the
use
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 of a hand phone is critical in our daily lives.
Phones
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 can make our lives easier. It made
people
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 efficient. We can
use
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 it to contact someone if need to, it makes communication easier and faster ,
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Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
phones
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 can
also
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 be used for various things
such
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 as; reading, social media, and news updates. Everything is possible with a single handphone because it offers a plethora of information.
To conclude
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, using
phones
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 can be somewhat categorised as antisocial
due to
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 the
fact
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 that
people
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 are more focused on their gadgets than talking to
people
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, but we can't object to the
fact
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 that
phones
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 are no longer an option but a necessity.
Submitted by Anneya on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • antisocial
  • social interactions
  • negative impacts
  • banning
  • regulated
  • completely banned
  • education
  • awareness campaigns
  • responsible
  • mobile phone use
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