IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The two graphs show the main energy sources in the USA in the 1980s and the 1990s.

The two graphs show the main energy sources in the USA in the 1980s and the 1990s.
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The pie charts give a comparison of the main sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 in the 1980s and the 1990s.
Overall
Linking Words
, Oil and Natural gas registered a decline
whereas
Linking Words
 Coal
as well as
Linking Words
 Nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 witnessed a rise during the period. Despite falling, oil remained the highest
energy
Use synonyms
 source,
by contrast
Linking Words
, Hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 had the lowest percentage. Starting off with sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 that experienced a fall. Oil began in 42% of all
energy
Use synonyms
 in the 1980s as the highest form of
energy
Use synonyms
 being exploited in the US and remained at the top in the 1990s with a 9% decline. Natural gas had been in second position with 26% in the 1980s,
however
Linking Words
, its percentage cut marginally to 25% sitting in third position in the 1990s. Turning to forms of
energy
Use synonyms
 that registered a rise. Coal started in third place (22% in the 1980s),
nevertheless
Linking Words
, coal saw a marked climb and reached 27% in the 1990s surpassing Natural gas in second place. Nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 experienced a twofold jump: an increase from 5% to 10% in the 1980s and the 1990s, respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 remained constant during the period staying at 5% the whole time.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "by contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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