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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Q. In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

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Although
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people
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 have celebrated traditional
festivals
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 for a long time, some traditional
festivals
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 and
celebrations
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 in several regions in the world have started to disappear in the present
due to
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 underlying reasons which should be looked into with effective strategy to bring back these
celebrations
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 to the community.
To begin
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 with, the development of technology and science has changed
people
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's beliefs, which reduced the practices of the
festivals
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, especially ones that related to supernature and spirits which most
people
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 might perceive as irrational in the present. 
Furthermore
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, most
celebrations
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 will disappear
due to
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 the fact that the younger generations are not interested in
festivals
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 compared to the older individuals.
As a result
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, the changes in
people
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's mindsets and the lack of interest in the
celebrations
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 of juveniles might cause the disappearance of
festivals
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 and
celebrations
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 forever. To reverse the trend, the problem should be tackled by promoting the
festivals
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 and
celebrations
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 that should remain in society through social media platforms
such
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 as Facebook and YouTube.
For example
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, the
festivals
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 can be promoted as opportunities for
people
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 to relax and spend time with their loved ones.
Moreover
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, it can be supported as the highlight event of the country in order to attract both local
people
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 and tourists which will directly increase the number of
people
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 engaging in the celebration.
Hence
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, the promotion of
festivals
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 as special events through online platforms will raise
people
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's awareness and engagement to continue celebrating in the future.
To conclude
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, the transformation in beliefs and interests of the population these days has led to the disappearance of fairs and ceremonies.
However
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, using media especially online-based as a tool to promote the festival will help attract more
people
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 which will help cultivate the practices and beauty in the
festivals
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 that should not be forgotten in the future.

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good logical structure and presents clear and comprehensive ideas. However, the response to the task could be more complete and the essay could benefit from providing more specific examples.
task achievement
The essay adequately responds to the task by addressing the problems caused by the disappearance of traditional festivals and providing measures to counter the situation. However, it could provide a more thorough and complete response to the task prompt, and could include more specific examples to support the arguments.
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